To trust is to love, and to love is to trust. When I think about the two virtues, I believe trust follows love. Trust starts with love. You have to love someone to trust them. Maybe this conversation ends when talking about human relationships, but I wanted to settle on God. On God. To love God is to trust God. To trust His way, to trust that He is who He says He is. I need this reminder. Do I believe God is who He says He is? Do I believe I am where God wants me to be? Do I believe my current circumstances are what God has allowed? Is God in control?
So I fight, struggle, and then arrive at a place of surrender, on my knees, trusting that yes, the answer to all those questions is “yes.” A yes from deep inside my gut. “YES!” This belief does not rid me of all frustration, however. And isn’t it frustrating when life does not let up? When it’s as though you cannot catch a break? Am I still supposed to respond “yes” to those questions when my realty screams, “no!”? Have I not learned the lesson I am to understand?
Sometimes I feel that once I have chosen to say yes, I will be out of the weeds of trouble. Indeed when I arrive at this deep conviction, this acceptance that where I am in life is where God needs me to be, all will be right. But the weeds still grow. I need a breath of fresh air. It doesn’t come. So when will my life begin?
But it has. Life has begun.
One of my favorite quotes is from Oswald Chambers; he says,
I am sorry for the Christian who has not something in their circumstances they wish were not there. Some extraordinary thing happens to a person who holds on to the love of God when the odds are all against God’s character.
So that’s it. It is not only the beliefs that move me through to the next day; it’s the finding refuge in this reality—being comfortable with constantly relying solely on God. I will never outgrow Him, and I will never be content outside Him, yet I will never be alone. My life has begun. I have been invited to love a God who loves me more profoundly than I will ever know, and trust is born out of that love. This trust grows a little more every day. With eyes wet with tears, I can see the promise. God has not failed me yet. Oh, and friend? He will not fail you either.*
A saint’s life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the saint says — “I cannot stand any more.” God does not heed, He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God’s hands. For what have you need of patience just now? Maintain your relationship to Jesus Christ by the patience of faith. “Though He slay me, yet will I wait for Him”
-L
*This unfailing God is not judged by our current circumstances but by the final outcome of our lives. God has the final say. The worst thing is never the final thing.